How to Build a Connection with Guests & Increase your Tips with this One Secret Trick
What if I told you there is something that you can do RIGHT NOW that is 100% FREE and you do not have to go out and purchase any product or have to save up to one day achieve? What if this same thing is something in your arsenal already and it’s a hidden gem that you has been under your nose this whole entire time just waiting to be taken advantage off and you haven’t even realized it yet!? What if this same exact thing has the ability to build a connection with ANYONE INCLUDING your customers at your job? In case you haven’t figured it out, what I’m speaking about is having fearless lazer eye contact!
Eye Contact The Hidden Gem in your Repertoire!
Having strong eye contact is a crucial component not only as a server but universally for numerous situations that you’ll face in your everyday life. In our case when recommending a food or drink item or even when just genuinely speaking with a customer, holding eye contact helps build a stronger belief and connection with whoever you are speaking with.
In the western world, they would say it showed respect, honesty, candor, confidence, intelligence & interest. Of course don’t overdo it as it might just look pretty freakin’ creepy. Also if you’re serving a couple, DO NOT, I REPEAT DO NOT hold eye contact with the man’s significant other the entire time (vice versa for waitresses). It’s disrespectful and could be giving off the wrong idea. Now for someone who is not very accustomed with holding eye contact they will possibly find it difficult or uncomfortable to sustain eye contact for more than 10 seconds.
Here are some ways to make holding eye contact much smoother. These tactics work by changing what you focus on. Emotions are attached to whatever your mind is focused on, so we’re going to completely eliminate that anxiety or uncomfortable feeling by adjusting that focus.
7 Ways to Smoothly and Easily Become Efficient at Holding Eye Contact
- When speaking to someone take note of the color of their eyes in your mind. Describe the color of their eyes to yourself. Really think about the color in detail, don’t limit yourself to blue, brown, gray. There is hazel, earthy, amber etc.
- Check out the shape of their eyes. Are they oval, round? How much of the white in the eyes are showing? Is it a lot or are their eyes bloodshot?
- Study how far apart their eyes are. Ask yourself if I borrowed their binoculars would I have to separate the eyes pieces or bring them closer together?
- Are their eyes symmetrical? Is one smaller or bigger than the other?
- Concentrate on the length of their eye lashes. Are they curly, straight? What color are they?
- Try to notice if they are wearing contact lenses. Are the lenses colored or clear?
- When extended eye contact is called for, such as when someone is speaking, count his or her blinks. (A study reported in the Journal of Research in personality called “The Effects of Mutual Gaze on Feelings of Romantic Love” proved that people who were directed to count each other’s eye blinks during a conversation developed stronger romantic feelings than members of a control group who were given no eye contact directions).
Final Thoughts
After a few rounds of doing these exercises, looking into people’s eyes will be a breeze! Strong eye contact will become second nature. Most importantly though, when your speaking with someone one on one make sure to pay attention to what they are saying too. Eye contact won’t mean much if you’re completely ignoring the person you’re talking to. They will feel like you’re not paying attention to them (which you’re not). This will take practice to remain present in the conversation and also practice the techniques but after some trial and error you’ll have this in the bag. People will feel a warm feeling that you’re actually listening and care deeply about their concerns and wants. Also your customers will feel more secure with whatever decision or recommendation you suggest due to your assertiveness and secureness in your eyes.
It might feel strange and uncomfortable at first but trust me this is not a simple “waiter tip” that you’ll find elsewhere or in your job training. This is a key technique in basic human psychology. Your now tapping into sub-communications (which I’ll probably cover in future blog posts. Let me know if that’s something you guys will be interested in checking out.)
Alright guys now it’s time to take action! Go out there and try practicing with people you interact with on a regular basis even if it’s not at work. Start building that confidence, Start practicing, start getting those tips, and start winning some starring contests!